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Sense is about the dilemma of choosing for a life with a partner or stay alone. About the pressure of living with a partner when you have been used to living alone for so long.
It is a theme that concerns many - whether at the beginning of adult life, but also when you are coming of age and if you still want to spread your wings. In short: living together can be too oppressive when you always have to take another person into account. All the more so when feeling intensely the pressure of all the other responsibilities that life entails anyway. Even more so, when you feel no longer free to die without a guilty feeling.
If we ignore the autobiographical element for a moment (Vasalis was a woman), the poem is completely inclusive and for that reason (also) a theme of modern life.
As usual, I closely follow the intentions of the sentences and stanzas in my music, permitting repetition of lines of verse in order to emphasize them or to emphasize them differently each time. Sometimes intense in the participation of the different instruments and voices, sometimes simple, sober and contemplative. So don't be rushed or impatient when listening - the music will have full play then.
Furthermore, there is nothing left but to like the music - or not of course.

The poem Sense by Vasalis was published in 2002 in the collection Unpublished Poems.

Vasalis hereself gave no title. As a composer I took the liberty of adding this title to this composition - in the same way that through my music I give the poem an interpretation that would not necessarily have been hers - although I presume that she would appreciate it. As soon as someone reads or listens, the emotions no longer belong to the artist after all, but to the reader or listener in this case.

For people who do not know her yet: M. Vasalis is the pseudonym of Margaretha Droogleever Fortuyn-Leenmans. She was a Dutch poet and a psychiatrist by profession. She lived from 1909 to 1998.

In 1982 she was awarded the P.C. Hooftprijs - a renowned literary price in the Netherlands - and in the same year her last poetry bundle was published, as well as a number of novellas which went along.

As early as 1988 I wrote my first composition on her poem Skeleton - a title that may not be very accessible - but that is only an illusion. It's a nice story. You can here listen to that composition and read the poem. I later added a piano accompaniment to it and recently made minor tempo adjustments. The poetess gave me personal permission for the use of that poem at the time and she liked the result very much.

In this cycle of songs have appeared so far:

1. My spring and my love are gone
2. Skeleton
3. Time
4. The Idiot in the bath
5. Autumn
6. Sotto voce
7. Metastases
8. Friend
9. Sense
In the menu at the top of this page, click on Compositions to go to the different lieder.

On Wikipedia there is more valuable information on Vasalis, might you be curious.

Aristos

The poem

Sense

Don't look at me despondently
with your hushed blue look.
Grant me my stray existance for a while
and let me breathe when I'm choking
of the strangeness not to be alone.

Of no longer being allowed to die.

You must not fear my struggle
and not be dejected by my pain.

I don't think you know me yet.
I'm so used to myself
and it's so hard to keep this child
that often finds all unbearable
to make me sense, that you are there.

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You can get an impression of the songs below.

© The complete copyright of the music (also this electronic version) has been deposited. This means that you can only listen but not use it nor partially, nor completely for your own purposes. Let alone that you use it for your own performances or productions. For citation rights please contact the publisher and the Buma/Stemra organization in the Netherlands.

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