The form and the instrumentation of this composition are, in a certain way, born by chance. Like many things in life occur (in appearance) by coincidence.
I already felt attracted to Nicolas Lange's poems for several years. They reflect the melancholy of life and even of death.
As a former organist of several churches, I wanted very much to make an organ composition.
Then the widow of a befriended organist gave me her home organ: an electronic Wurlitzer, because she could not use it anyway and was ready to part with it at that time . Unfortunately, the organ did not survive the trip, because probably the old electronic parts (from the 60s) suffered too much from the holes in the road? Nobody knows. The organ is now at home as a relic of an old friend and of my wishes to be able to play it.
That's how two things came together. It's so easy, this can happen sometimes.
This is the poem:
A tear rolls down over his face,
but his pain, he does not express.
Only he knows what he lives through,
nobody else can see his fear.
Tough he fought back and yet he lost.
So was defeated in the end,
had to acknowledge his collapse.
Winners are broken just like that.
Sea of flames from cold gazing eyes
has suddenly surrounded him.
Goal too far, no way out in sight.
So thereupon he takes his life.
Nobody ever will miss him
nor wants to try tracing him down.
Since nobody ever struggled,
really to find out what moved him.
His skin is cold, his breath now flat
and gradually peace sets in.
All this merely for one wish:
no longer be wholly alone.
Below you can get an impression of this composition in its last version.
I advise you not to listen to the music via a mobile phone, tablet or laptop. That could turn out to be a disappointment, unless you use very good headphones.
For a reasonably acceptable experience, a computer with a good sound system is required!
Please note:
This music is an electronic representation and is therefore not comparable to a human version!
For example, one does not hear the words of the sung text by the choir, but only "aah" and "ooh".
The instruments, on the other hand, are quite realistic thanks to the latest electronics.
It remains, however, that the whole of the interpretation of the conductors/musicians is missing and therefore may sound somewhat sterile
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© The complete copyright of the music (also this electronic version) has been deposited. This means that you can only listen but not use it nor partially, nor completely for your own purposes. Let alone that you use it for your own performances or productions.
For citation rights please contact the publisher and the Buma/Stemra organization in the Netherlands.
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